adjusting back to nyc

this was originally published on April 13, 2021

i quickly learned that leaving nyc wasn't the hard part. coming back was. im still processing my entire experience. i am so grateful, inspired, and privileged to have spent time with incredibly knowledgable and thoughtful people doing really cool shit in puerto rico. i learned so much, allowing me to connect with other people, the earth, and myself. im back in nyc and feel completely disconnected from myself, my body, and our planet. my sense of connection to this web of life through nature feels like it was severed. since the drive from the airport to my apt all i can think about is how cities purposefully design poorer neighborhoods to exclude greenspaces/nature and are routinely underfunded because our government upholds white supremacy. the connection between humans and nature is essential - it allows us to not only connect with our planet, but with each other AND ourselves. we are literally nature. we are made up of the same compounds as stars! nature is so entertaining! (and scary!) but focusing on nature wouldn't be good for capitalism.

im tending to my plants and picking out seeds for planting. seeing new growth and pops of colors is inspiring. making that first batch of infused olive oil and chocolate felt SO GOOD. focusing on the tiny little things and working with my hands is healing