does perfect even exist?

this was originally published July 11, 2019

the word perfect is so complicated for me. and maybe for you too?
i set unrealistic goals for myself with the word perfect. and i aim so, so hard for perfect. to the point that it hurts me mentally, physically, and emotionally.
so i hate the word perfect.
yet i find myself using that word while i teach. i see a student giving all their emotional, physical, mental ability to a movement. to me, that is perfect. that student should feel so proud for being there, focusing on that moment, spending time with themselves. that is perfection. in this mindframe perfection allows for space to grow while honoring the effort that is taking place. that shit is amazing!
at times i want to remove perfect from my vocabulary, especially when i teach. and other times i want to own that word, i want to redefine it- honor the moment and all that fucking effort!
im sure im not the only one who feels that way about the word perfect. its complicated. depends on your mindset, how it's being used, who's saying it.
i don't know if i will keep that word around